Counting down the days...

The last couple of days have been filled with preparation for our return. Yesterday, I went shopping with the intent of finding a sweater for Sveta to wear for her America debut! (The clothes I brought were too big.) Knowing a 40 year old and 16 year old have different opinions of what is appropriate, I was trying to remain neutral to allow for her to select something she loves (within my parameters). Then, my plan was to give the thumbs down on her selection, buy it without her knowing, and then surprise her with it today. It backfired! The result of my failed plan: Sveta pretended to not really like the sweater and Vika became angry with Sveta because she would not admit she loved it. After about 10 minutes of tention, I was forced to resolve the matter by purchasing the sweater and sharing the details of my failed plan. The girls then laughed and all was well.

Side note: I did, however, use the experience as a learning lesson. I told Sveta she needs to always tell me (respectfully) what she is thinking and feeling. Plus, mothers and daughters hardly every agree on clothing purchases, especially fathers!  There would be times when we must compromise.

Today, I am planning to spend quality time with Nikolas and his brother. I have asked my facilitator to join us to help translate the dialogue between Arthur and me. I am hoping Arthur is willing to open up and share some intimate details about their past so I can help Nikolas work through his emotions. Please pray for Arthur, I know he too must have strong emotions about their past home life. I pray today goes well..I want him to feel and believe he is family too.

Oh, a funny story about Kateryna...last night she was sitting on my lap eating her apple and I told her she could help me pass out chocolate cookies to the children, but each child could only have one (o-din in Ukraine). (Since it was Saturday, I knew more kids would be in range.)  She completely understood my English. She instantly became the cookie police. She would shake her finger at those who came back for seconds and wave at those coming down the hall and encourage them to stop by for a snack! It was quite comical. Again, Katya does not speak Ukraine, only her "doight doight" language. I am constantly encourage there will be a breakthrough with therapy!!!

Enjoy the weekend!

And another day closer...

Hello to all!  I hear the Aggies are going to play LSU at the Cotton Bowl...Beat the hell outta LSU! Whoop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That is about all the news I have received from home since Nov. 4th...hey, gotta know the important stuff!)

Yesterday, Derek and I took the kids to get their passport pictures taken. I am sure everyone who saw us thought...look out, here comes the Brady Bunch! We all cramed in one vehicle (not a van or surburban), so as we stepped out of the car, we looked like the clowns at the circus. Not sure if you can tell from the picures, but the kids are so small for their age. Another "to-do" done...one step closer to getting on a plane!

Since Kevin has been gone, I have been spending most of my time thinking /reflecting during the evening hours. I am saddened by the fact that there are soooooooooooooo many great kids without a family. Most of these kids are very loving and affectionate. Each day we arrive, they bolt out of the classrooms across the hall from the 'social' area and run over to say, "Hi! How are you?" When you reply with "I am fine". Their reply is ususally "Good!" For some, this is all the English they know.  However, they do enjoy practicing and learning more English. Once boy who is about to be adopted by an Italian family, sat on the sofa with me for at least 30 minutes studying English flash cards. When he learned he could not keep the cards, he became upset. I wish we would have had an extra set to give him, but Derek needed to keep the cards as an activity for Tanner's plane ride home. All the kids LOVE fruit and gum. We usually stop at the store before we go to the orphanage and purchase several bunches of bananas and a couple dozen apples. The supply goes very quickly and typically every child says "Thank you!" (yes, in English...if they don't know how they always ask another kid before walking away) You can see the gratitude on their face...something many US kids lack these days.(my opinion)

My overall impression of the orphanage is very different than I anticipated. I was expecting a very dreary building with an institutional feel. I had been preparing myself to play a "mind over matter" game to get the courage to visit. Quite the opposite. The building is full of children's murals and it is extrememly clean. The children make their beds daily and have been taught to take their shoes off when they enter a room with a rug. (Yea! I am hoping Kateryna and Nikolas remember this since they have carpet upstairs!) They also do very well with conserving energy. The children only turn the lights on in the main room when it is dark. I don't mean dim...dark. (My Dad and Kevin struggles with my lack of conserving sometimes!) Another trait many have learned is to share. If I give one of my kids a pack of gum, they don't keep it for themselves, they immediately start passing out the other pieces. (As does Derek's boys.) I really hope they keep their chraritable spirit as they age...many of us seem to be stuck in the "me" world and need to learn to appreciate all the opportunities and overall lifestyle that exists in our homeland.)

Back to the children, I can totally understand how someone can find peace in working with underpriviledged kids. I have a niece currently teaching in Cambodia and a dear friend and her husband working to educate folks in Turkey. Danielle and Heather- I now truly get it! It takes special people to sacrifice EVERYTHING for a meaningfull cause. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily...Much love and respect to you!

Ok...now I have too many tears falling as I type... I am in a restaurant with Derek (Kevin & Tamara- we are in Coffee Inn again)...more to share later!

Love to all!

Another day closer to home...

Yesterday was fun! When we, Derek and I, (we share the cab daily to save on expenses) arrived at the orphanage, the kids told us a program was about to begin and asked us to be the "international judges" of hte judging panel. We said "yes" without knowing what we were judging. As we made our way to the gym, we noticed there were many soldiers present. We learned that the older boys from the orphanage were challenged to compete with the soldiers in a fun, physical contest. It was very fun and quite entertaining. Some of the challenges were pull ups (who could do the most...one from each team). The boys only lost by 3 in this round...this kid had much determination! Then sack races. This round was a tie because the soldiers sack tore and the last few soldiers decided to run to the finish line as there was no bottom to the sack. (We panel of judges penalized them for cheating!) Then a team challenge as to the most basketball goals.Then a race passing the basketball overhead. Then a race across the gym and back with a somersault on the way down. The somersault was more challenging for the soldiers since one tends to lose flexibility as he ages. The next race was VERY funny. Each team had to carry a small girl across the gym and back while their arms were locked in a 'bench" position, pass her to the next pair, and so on...the team that finished in the fastest time was declared the winner. The boys were faster. However, mid way through they lost their "bench" and carried the girl by one hand and one foot. At first the crowd gasped as she fell into this "pose", but the boys did not drop her. She actually laughed the entire time her head was about two inches from the floor as the last few groups ran with her. (We judges penalized the boys for their "cheating" in maintaining their "bench".)

In addition to the challenges, their was local entertainment. Three orphange girls sang karaoke. (I recognized one song. (The place when we frequently dine has this video playing overhead.) Kateryna was quite excited about the singing and music. She was dancing and trying to immitate their "moves" while the 3 girls performed. (Confirmation she is taking dance classes back in America. Maybe this can help as therapy.)

By the time the competition was over, it was time for us to leave...going back today to visit...

Wishing you all a great day!

The overseas jobsite...

Hello to all!

I am going to keep this short...yesterday was spent with the kids. We played in the lobby area of the orphanage with Derek and his two boys and the newest American couple (Karei & Dave) from Minnesota. Please pray for their process to go smoothly. Their tentative travel plans for a return trip is Christmas Day.

Kateryna seems to comfortable with my coming and going from the orphanage. She has not had a crying fit the last few days when I leave. Perhaps it is because I have been walking her back to her teacher vs. allowing her to see me drive away. (My parenting skills are getting better...YEA!)

I am trying to be comfortable with the freedoms Sveta is accustom to here in Ukraine. Through orphanage rules, she is allowed to come and go as she pleases during the weekend. Example: After dinner last night she told me she planned to take a bus back into town to visit with her sister Tanya (the one in college). I was obviously concerned, especially knowing it was dark, 12 degrees farenheit and in order to catch the bus, she must walk through the woods for a bit... then down a very dark road to a main road. She obviously does this often so I bit my tongue and said OK.

Nikolas was not himself yesterday. I need to continue to encourage him to express his feelings. Please pray for me to have the right "motherly instincts".  I know he is ready to come home. I found a piece of paper hidden inside his jean pocket where he is marking off the days until the 18th (our return date). When I asked him about it, he simply said, "Why can't we leave now...why do we have to wait?" Again, please pray for him as he may struggling with his emotions with regards to the huge change in his life.

Here are photos of the town...

Kevin is home safe & sound...

To those of you that emailed me out of concern because I have not posted, thank you! Here is why:
As a frugal Butschek, we ran into a slight snag on Wednesday. Kevin was scheduled to fly out at 5:35 AM on Thursday. Snow was predicted Wed evening so we decided to leave Zhytomyr a bit early and drive to Boryspil (approx 3 hours away...through Kiev to the opposite side) and stay at a hotel to be sure he did not run into transportation/weather issues and miss his flight. Because we were going through Kiev, our facilitator suggested we stop at the US Embassy to complete our first round of paperwork. This took longer than planned. Therefore, we did not arrive in Boryspil until the evening. (seems like no big deal...right?) We checked in and immediately wanted to eat as we literally had not had anything to eat the entire day. Fortunately, the hotel issues each guest a ticket for a meal. (Based upon US portion sizes, I should say a snack!) We realized after our free snack, we only have about $50 in local currency between the two of us. Not good as the banks were closed already and Kevin needed to have some just in case his flight was delayed in Ukraine as emergency funds. At the time, it didn't seem like it was too much of a penance to stay hungry until morning.

My plan was to walk to the bank Thursday morning,exchange money and then have a late breakfast. Surprise! Mother nature blewin a snow storm that deterred me from leaving the building. The wind was blowing so hard the snow was circling in the air like a tornado. It was -18 degrees celcius which is about 0 degrees Farenheit.  IT WAS COLD!!!! (I have only experienced cold like that one time on a ski trip in Colorado, but I had full ski wear that time.) Needless to say, I chose to go without food again versus braving the elements! Some of you are probably thinking, what an idiot (especially my family in Montana and North Dakota as they deal with weather like this often.) Well, when you look our a hotel window and see NO ONE walking around, the decision to stay in seems normal and smart! (HA HA!)

It snowed all day which made my driver late for my pickup. Then we had a very slow commute back to Zhytomyr. Did you know in Ukraine you could covert one side of a divided highway (2 lanes each way) into a 4-5 lane road? Imagine an inch between your rear view mirrors and bumpers... inhale diesel for 4 hours...tilt your car 45 degrees every now and then. Keep in mind, your side is the side which gets to look at a frozen ditch through the window when tilted! I have been teasing my driver that he is an older James Bond as he resembles Daniel Craig. So, when a four wheel drive vehicle would pass us (again there is only an inch between cars) using the ditch, I would remind James that the road, while slower, was our better path. I did not want to become a member of the polar bear club!!!

That was the Wed/Thursday ordeal. I spent Friday at the orpanage with the kids and did the same today. Nikolas and I did leave for a bit to buy a pair of winter shoes and spend some quality time together. (He did not get to go bowling or ice skating the first time because of his 'hospital' stay.)

Our outspoken son is back! He told me he is going to convince Maggie Mae (our dog) to sleep with him every night. When I questioned his methodology, he said he didn't know how he was going to do it...further questioning led to an admission of stuffing food in his sheets! I quickly said "absolutely not"! The rule of the house is food remains in the kitchen at all times!!!

More tomorrow...

By the way, Kevin is back home and is trying to adjust to the time change.

 

The home He has built is move-in ready...

At daybreak we awoke to a cold, cloudy, dreary morning. As we began to discuss what may be asked by the judge in court, sun rays started to appear and cascade through the windows, reminding us of the Divine Architect. Just before our taxi pickup time, the rays disappeared and the sky became gray, but not with gloom, beautiful snow flurries set the stage for our big event...court! As you may know, no two snowflakes are alike, each has its own identity and when grouped together, create a reflective display of His creation. Much like our soon-to-be family, we are all born with our own DNA and purpose in life. When God unites us, we too, become a reflection of His power and His love.

Those of you that know me really well, know that I am a planner and had my adult life mapped out with all the important details: marriage, house, children (both number and names), etc. Looking back, I had no idea we would be led to adoption. In the back of my mind, I was beginning to accept the role of a non parent with anticipation of another vocation for Him. It just was not clear as to what 'it' was. I can not tell you how many times we talked about adopting over our 17 years of marriage, but just didn't move forward with action. Now, we know why...this time was needed to construct the perfect home for these three children who need us as much as we need them.

During the court proceedings, the older two children were asked several questions by the judge. Svitlana, our shy one, breezed through with no hesitation or quiver in her voice. She told the judge she was sure she wanted to be adopted and was sure she wanted us to be her parents. Honestly, I was amazed at her confidence. I do believe it was the fear of not being adopted that concealed her true personality, thus far.

On the contrary, Nikolas has been boasting on a regular basis what he planned to tell the judge. At one point, he even stated he was going to ask the judge why we had to wait so long before we could fly home. When it was his turn, he froze after his reply of "yes" to the first question which was "Do you want to be adopted?" It didn't matter what question was asked or if a choice was given, he was not able to speak. He began to tremble and I grabbed his hand attempting to provide comfort. I was worried the judge and the panel would deny our petition for him if he was not able to at least explain why he wanted us to be his parents. I also wondered if my hand holding would be perceived as coercion. After what seemed to be several minutes of waiting for an answer, a tear welled up in Nikolas's eye and he was just about to break down. I, sitting beside him feeling helpless, was weighing my options as to whether or not I should ask the judge for a recess to allow for Nikolas to regroup.  Thank God for perfect timing...At that moment, the judge began laughing (as did the panel) and told him it was O.K. He could tell by looking in Nikolas's eyes that he wanted to be with us in America.

Next up, Miss Kateryna. Not according to courtroom procedure though...she made her way up to the front questioning platform after going through many failed attempts of keeping her occupied. At this point, the judge humored her with a question: "Do you want to be adopted and live in America?" Her immediate reply was "Da" (Ukraine for yes). This was enough information to send the panel into laugher again and then into deliberation.

As each child responded with answers of "yes" to their desire to be our child, every second of our wait for His Will to unfold was now behind us.  While it was hard, patience is a virtue!

Once they returned, the judge announced the ruling....the petition to adopt all three has been granted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Introducing our newly constructed family:

Svitlana Ann
Nikolas Henry
and last, but not least, Kateryna Kate

Now, we must wait (AGAIN!) Ukraine has a 10 day wait period. The children will remain at the orphanage until then.

Some other great news to share, Derek and Tamara's petition to adoption their 2 boys was approved today, as well! Looks like it will be the traveling Brady bunch on the flight home:)

As we close for the evening, we know God's presence is all around us...the snow is blanketing the city. A reminder, once again, of His blessings...not only our new family, but all of you! Thanks again for what you have helped accomplish through your prayers and support. Can't wait to see you...We Love YOU!

 

First snowfall at the jobsite...

Court tomorrow!!!! YEA!!!

Today we awoke with a surprise... about 3 inches of snow on the ground with more falling. It was a beautiful site. The flakes were large like those you see at the ski slopes. Unfortunately, as the day progressed, it turned into Texas snow...slush and rain! Kevin and I looked ridiculous walking around in all the slushy ice in our tennis shoes. By the time we walked to the restaraunt we frequent the most (about 5 blocks), we were drenched from the mid-calf down. (The sidewalks have many surprise potholes you can't see with slushy snow on top.) Enjoy the view from our apartment...

The kids are excited about tomorrow. Nikolas still does not understand why Ukrainian law has a 10 day waiting period before they can actually leave the orphanage. To be honest, we question its purpose too. I assumed it was to allow relatives to protest, but have been told this never happens. Regardless, we are moving in the right direction.

Yesterday, we spent the day shopping at the weekend market with Svitlana and her best friend, Vika. Derek, our newest American friend, accompanied us too. The weekend market reminds me of Chinatown in New York, but somewhat disorganized. You can buy just about anything...clothing, plumbing, toys and food items. Most vendors are set up in a 5X8 area which is covered by a tent. Others simply set up in the traffic areas on the ground. We actually saw beheaded, plucked, raw chicken sitting on a piece of cardboard paper on the ground for sale...unfortunately, the weather conditions added a little seasoning for the purchaser! (it was rainning and muddy) Needless to say, we stuck with clothing options. I will say, Kevin was tempted as he is still hungry for a large meal!

Will post more after court...Please pray for things to go smoothly as planned.

Much love to you!